we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
