CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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