I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
