You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
