their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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