Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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