so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
