I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
