Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
