Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
