Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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