you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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