Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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