I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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