u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
