If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
