I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
