community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
