Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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