it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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