Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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