yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
