it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
