Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
