are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
