I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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