I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
