I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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