found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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