there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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