I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
