I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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