A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
