i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
