can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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