Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
