Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Terrible idea I love it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
