I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there was a trapeze. enough said
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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