So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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