How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
