Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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