I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
