16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
