Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
