4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're my little dorito
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
