I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
