I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
