Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
