You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
