yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
