Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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