yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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