Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the day after is always just damage control
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
